kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep

Friday, September 15, 2006

So, I'm still totally stupid. It's the 5th night I've hung out with Brandon in a row..and it's 1:38am...& there's like no way I'm going to bed soon, which is really bad considering I have theory at 8am tomorrow. I know I need to stop it, but he's just so much fun to hang out with. & I mean just as friends, cuz he's just so cool, & we have so much in common, down to a love for comic books & the movies based on them, lol....but yeah, I totally need sleep. We went to this swing dance thing tonight & he is such an amazing dancer...yeah..that was fun...but I totally can't make a habit out of staying up this late every night, cuz I'd totally be falling asleep in theory even more than I am now. But it's too hard for me to say no, & that I can't hang out, cuz I'm just that nice. but whatever...I'll figure it out eventually.

Signed in Blood at
1:43 AM

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Ok, so when I posted my last post, I totally thought my weekend was over. Not true.
So, this dude I met in choir, Brandon, found me on facebook, & we just happened to be online at the same time, & we started talking, & he ended up coming over to my dorm to do our music theory homework (obviously we're in theory together too, lol) & yeah...so he was supposed to go over to his friend's house to drink the rest of his Guinness, which he happened to have 3 bottles of insted of just 2, so he invited me to join them. So we walked over to his house first to pick it up, & we ended up playing a small game of Mariokart on NES, which was freakin' awesome. Then finally went to his friend Dylan's house where we chilled for a while, & I had Guinness for the first time, which was actually pretty damn good...but it brought my headache back, so Brandon was like "ok, I totally owe you a burrito for this" but it was cool, cuz basically the entire time we were there, him & Dylan were singing & playing guitar which was awesome.
Well, we left there around like, midnight...and then Brandon came back to my dorm & chilled. We just talked for hours...then ended up dancing a little, because we both love to swing & salsa, & he was surprised at how good I was cuz he was flipping me & stuff, & it was fun. oh, and the weirdest thing ever, he was in Texas his sophomore year of high school, which means he sung the exact same songs I did for Region!! We think we were in different regions, but the music was the same...& he knows a guy I went to high school with from Area auditions which was totally freaky, but awesome...but yeah..he ended up just crashing at my dorm, considering it was 5am when we one of us decided that we should stop talking, lol...and I didn't want to him to have to walk back to his house that late (or early, whatever)...so yeah..I got a total of 2 hours of sleep, & then we both had to get up a 7am for lovely music theory...when I saw him later in choir he was like "you look good for getting 2 hours of sleep" lol..yeah..he's a cool guy

Signed in Blood at
7:57 PM

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Sunday, September 10, 2006

This weekend was fucking awesome! So Friday night, I ended up going to the Carrie Underwood concert with Rachel & Megan. Megan's brother had been very nice & gave us like, 1/2 a bottle of tequila, so before the concert we stopped off at Wal-Mart to get lime & salt so we could do shots...and this lady at McDonald's gave us the weirdest look when Rachel asked her for a plastic knife & a packet of salt, lol...but yeah, so we ended up doing shots in the parking lot before we went in to the concert, & poor Rachel had like, the hardest time cutting the lime, lol...but yeah..I think we each had like, 4 or 5, but it wasn't too bad cuz we mixed it with some margarita mix..it was my first time ever having tequila, and they were both like "dude, you're taking shots like a pro" they were so surprised at how well I took it...but yeah..it was totally fun going into the concert drunk, cuz we could barely walk straight & had to help each other walk up the stairs...and then when we got inside, everything was just so funny, like we get in & Megan's all "Look, Lalie! Popcorn!" & for some reason we all thought that was the funniest thing ever. but yeah..it was fun.

Then we woke up Saturday around like, 12, lol..and headed off to Las Cruces for the Lobo/Aggie game. The game was fucking awesome, considering WE WON!!! lol...yeah..it was cool. Then we went to Rachel's friend Sean's frat house, & met a bunch of frat guys...then Sean & his friend Steve took us in Steve's awesome H3 to buy tequila so we could do shots before the party we were going to...but we ended up just doing them at the party..holy shit..like, this time we did just straight tequila, and I think I had at least 5...then we drank margaritas...between me, Rachel, & Megan, we finished off the entire bottle which probably wasn't the best idea in the world. I mean, we were all just trashed..but it was fun! lol..we stayed at Sean's frat house, which was pretty cool, especially since we had our own little room..but then in the middle of the night these random sirens started going off, & I was still so wasted I couldn't figure out if they were a part of my dream or really happening, but everyone else in the house heard them, so apparently it was real, lol. but yeah...Sean treated us to lunch & then we hung out at this other dude's house for a little while before heading back here to UNM, which is where I now am.
Damn I love tequila.

Signed in Blood at
7:04 PM

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Monday, September 04, 2006

oh, my little blog..I have not forgotten thee! lol..I've really been just updating my myspace blog, but I need to update this one now.

I'm loving my life right now. Almost everything is perfect. My suitemates are really cool, & I've met so many awesome music kids from theory & choir already..it's just great. Everyone is so much nicer than I expected, and I'm very glad that I decided to do music, because it's making me so much happier than I was last year.

um..the almost perfect thing refers to Ray. I have no idea if anything is going to happen with him. He came over to my dorm the 2nd day of classes, we drank way too much wine & things got a little out of hand, but it was still an amazing night. Since then, I've talked to him twice. When he was at my dorm, I asked him what he saw me as & his answer just confused me. I want to ask him again, but I dunno. He's back in Boston now, & he's supposed to call me sometime soon. I hope he does. And not just because I'd like to be in a relationship with him, but more because we have so much in common, & I had so much fun with I was out with him. It's been a while since I've had that much fun with a guy, & I don't want to lose that. & it's weird, because some of the things he said to me makes me think that he wanted/wants a relationship. but then other times, I'm doubtful because we don't talk very often at all. & I am in his top friends on myspace, so I guess that means he's not going to completely forget about me yet...& it's also weird, because I'm not as depressed about this situation as I thought I would be. I mean, I do get a little sad sometimes at the thought that even if we do continue to talk, it'll probably be Christmas before I'll see him again...but then I remember that he's supposed to be moving back down here next summer...*sigh* I really don't knwo what's going to happen, but I know I'll be fine either way it goes.

Signed in Blood at
4:15 PM

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Monday, August 14, 2006

First thing on my mind is that I’m not satisfied at all with my current situation. The situation being the fact that my mom wants me to do something that I used to want to do, but I’m not so sure about anymore. She still has it in her mind that I’m gonna be this amazing film writer/director, and that I’m gonna get an internship at some big studio, & go on to become the first woman director to truly break out in the industry. And yes, I’ll admit, this used to be my dream. I used to think about winning an Oscar for some movie I had directed or written. I wanted the "hollywood" lifestyle & all the fame and fortune with it. And while the idea of being wealthy will always be appealing to me, I’ve come to the realization that maybe being a director just isn’t for me. Now, don’t get me wrong…I had a lot of fun in my production class last semester, & had even more fun making the stupidest movie ever, lol. But the most fun I had was when my group members decided to let me pick out the music for our movie. It was so easy for me. I wasn’t even watching the movie while I was choosing the music, yet I somehow knew that everything I had chosen would fit perfectly. All my group members agreed. And when they allowed me to basically take control of editing the audio..I was in heaven. I mean, mixing the sound was just something I understood very easily, and something I was very good at. That got me to thinking. Then, my mom and I went to see NMSO perform Verdi’s Requiem. It was so powerful, and so moving, it was like the music was moving straight through me. It was amazing. That got me to thinking too. Last year was the first year since I was 3 years old, that I hadn’t been in some sort of music performance or recital. And I realized how much I missed it. I missed being around nothing but musicians…people that understand me, and that I understand. Musicians are completely different. And I don’t mean just singers (no offense to my choir peeps!!). I mean MUSICIANS. People who play at least one instrument. Who understand how beautiful and moving orchestral or choral works can be. Who don’t fall asleep at the mention of opera. Who listen to more than just one type of music. Who loves and appreciates all forms of music, from jazz to rock to oldies to country to tap. Everything. I missed those people. I missed being in rehearsals all day, & practicing so much that my wrists & fingers hurt. I had let go of something I loved. These feelings were working inside me for a little while. I was so afraid of disappointing my parents. But then I finally decided to tell them that I had decided to change my major to music. And they both seemed to be happy. But now…there’s something else I’m afraid to tell them. Lately, I’ve realized how much I enjoy musical theatre & movie soundtracks. When I went to see Superman Returns again with my mom, I found myself closing my eyes and just listening to the music (John Ottman wrote some of the best brass lines I’ve ever heard), picking out the strings, brass, woodwinds & percussion…and enjoying that more than the movie. And then I think about how much I loved performing in the orchestra pit in Beauty & the Beast in high school (yes I know it’s been over a year..but it really meant a lot to me). It was truly the highest point of my high school career. And then I thought of something that I think I would be perfectly content to do the rest of my life: play piano on orchestra pits for musical theatre. And of course, the best place to break into that is of course NY. And I’m afraid to tell my parents this. My mom wants me to be so much more…and yet, I know that I would so happy to just perform the rest of my life. I miss it so much. I can’t do without it.

On the NY note, my mom also doesn’t want me living there at all, just because she’s heard from others that it’s a bad place. But I’ve wanted to go there since I was a young child. I still haven’t been there though, but I have to get there one day. And while I do love the South, I fell in love with Virginia & D.C. when I went there for my choir trip senior year. It was so beautiful. Even more beautiful than the mountains out here in NM…lol, it’s true, and for one reason; there was color everywhere! The cherry blossoms were in bloom, which made it even more beautiful. Baltimore was just as beautiful. It was captivating. And while my wish is to travel before I settle down, with maybe even living in europe for a year or two, I know that I have to live somewhere like Virginia. Even though NM is a beautiful place..it’s too brown for me. I miss grass everywhere, & I miss being near water. I miss rain. I wouldn’t mind having a ranch with wild horses running free here in NM, but I’d have to have a house somewhere else too. Somewhere in New England or Virginia most likely…lol…probably Virginia considering it’s still the South…I dunno how well I’d get along with all those damn yankees, but I’d be worth it to try considering how much I love it up there.

And it’s strange, because my mom wants me to continue on to get a graduate degree. And I’ve already told her, I want to get it in either Virginia, Boston, or in NY. And she’s fine with that. Maybe because she doesn’t realize that I would stay up there…she probably thinks I would move back down here. But NM was always her dream life…not mine. Yes, I love UNM, & I love all the people I’ve met down here. I do really fit in. But I don’t want to completely live here the rest of my life. It’s way too laid back…I mean, for instance. I’m used to going to see the Houston Symphony Orchestra or to a musical like Phantom of the Opera & getting all dressed up. I mean..guys in full suits (if it’s opening night, then some even wore tuxes)…ladies in after 5 dresses…that whole thing. Then coming down here…and going to see NMSO, where everyone is in jeans. I was taught never EVER go to a professional performance of that nature in jeans. I just can’t do it. I have to go dressed…it’s just what I’ve been raised to do. And I miss the grand theatres Houston had…like Brown. It was at least twice the size of Popejoy. And just getting in the music hall was a thrill because of the grand staircase, which every major hall in Houston has. While I don’t want to ever live in Houston again, I want to live nearby a city that has the same qualities.

Honestly, all I want in my life is to be happy. I want to have a successful career doing what I love. It doesn’t matter how much money I’m making either. I want to be with someone who understands that too, that there’s more important things in life than money. I need to be happy. Whatever I do with my life…I know that I have to be happy. I’ve been unhappy for so long because I’ve been afraid. Afraid to move on, to start over, to take chances. But I’m not afraid anymore. I have to live the life I want to live, not the life my parents want me to live. Because when I was doing what they wanted me to do, I wasn’t happy, because I wasn’t myself. And now that I’ve started to do what I want to do…I am happy. & it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

Signed in Blood at
6:25 PM

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Friday, August 11, 2006

YAY!!!! thank you Jessica!!! I'm sure I'll love 'em!! oh...and yeah i know..there are a lot of guys..but Ray is new...and holy shit..he's amazing..I'll tell you about him, lol...

Signed in Blood at
8:48 AM

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Monday, August 07, 2006

so, today was pretty fun. I quit working at Mervyns, cuz it sucked ass...haha..I only worked there for 5 days..I'm such a slacker. But, I got a job for tax-free weekend (since this post is public, totally not saying where on here..but if stay on afterwards, i'll let some of you know where..or just look at my facebook). anyway..it's awesome, mainly cuz of my co-workers, Che being the coolest..and he pokes me everytime he passes by..he has many tattoos, and he's very tall. he's cool. The others are all really cool too, it's very laid back, & I love it.

Anyway, today while at the register, some old dude told me I looked like Denise Richards. He says it's a good thing..I dunno

Another weird occurance: while sitting on a bench waiting to say hi to the lovely Ray (he was busy with a customer), these three dudes walked by, and one of them asked if he could take a picture of me (they were probably around 17 or 18). I let him, and his friend was like "he's putting that on myspace" so there might be a picture of me on some complete strangers myspace, which is kinda cool yet kinda creepy at the same time, lol. but it was funny

um...I think that's all my news for now. Nothing else has really happened. I'm supposed to go out with Ray again tonight, and I really hope I get to, since he leaves in September..I mean, I wouldn't mind this being sort of an end of summer fling, but he's so awesome, I'd rather it be more meaningful than that...but either way it'd be cool. Oh, and I found out the SUV he was driving the last time we went out was his dad's...so most likely those were his dad's cigs...which would be awesome. cuz then he would be completely perfect, lol..he even loves Rent!! hehe..ok..i'll go away now

Signed in Blood at
8:10 PM

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

so..lot to update about, considering I haven't updated this thing in a little while, mainly cuz I've just been updating on myspace, cuz I'm not really sure how many people even read this anymore, but whatever...I'll update anyway.

First off, I now have a job. Go me. I work at Mervyns, and while I love everyone that I work with, there is one certain manager who is a complete bitch, and is seriously pissing me off, which means I won't be working there very long at all. I even painted my nails black today, which I'm sure she won't like at all, cuz it probably looks "unprofessional" but whatever..I don'y really care. But working at the mall did have one very major benefit: I met an amazing guy by the name of Ray.

He's so cool. He's a musician (plays guitar, piano, & sings..and writes music too, lol) he loves to read..I dunno..he's just amazing. He's a senior at Boston University, and apparently he's thinking of moving back here to Albuquerque when he graduates, which would be very nice. We went on our first date last night to Denny's, and it was probably the best date I've been on. I mean, we just totally hit it off..like, we have so much in common, it's scary lol. He was so easy to talk to..no uncomfortable silences or anything. And he's a "good" Catholic boy, which is also pretty cool. um...I dunno what else to say. But yeah, he's amazing, and we're going out again this weekend, so that should be fun.....

I think that's pretty much it..nothing else has really happened. But I must say one more time, that Ray is awesome. And VERY cute ;-)

Signed in Blood at
8:11 PM

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Monday, July 24, 2006

Okay so first off, I shall tell everyone that I finally had the courage to tell Brit how I felt. I told him how long I had been having a crush on him, and that I still felt guilty over the whole spring break think, & then what i did at Red Star. Anyway..he told me that he did have mixed feelings for me in senior year, but wasn't sure about saying anything because I was moving away..and then when I acted really stupid over spring break, he apparently thought I wasn't interested in him at all. Me being stupid, did not ask him how he felt about me now. But, we've already planned for a PF Chang's date for chocolate cake next time I'm in town...and he wants me to pick him up on the way to Renfest in October. So...who knows. He also told me to call him whenever, & I reminded him that calling works both ways..he was like "I'm still learning how to dial a phone" so I was like "So, I shouldn't hold my breath?" & he said "it could be sooner than you think" so who knows. Maybe something will happen..maybe it won't. But at least I know that I've patched our friendship by apologizing to him for treating him the way I did.

On to news unrelated to boys: I totally got the job at Mervyns!! Which totally kicks ass. Well, I had the job at Hastings too, but didn't like the idea that I would be closing, which meant staying there until 12:30 to 1 am. I think I'll enjoy working at Mervyns a lot more, considering it's in the mall, very close to Hot Topic which means I'll get a bunch of great stuff on sale. yay. I start training tomorrow...so, hopefiully everything will go pretty well.

Ok, time for more boy news: So, the fucknut (haha..I like that Kim) is now single again..which means he's talking to me again..which means..well, most of you know. But I'm not playing his game..I did a little..but, I just can't. I know too many great guys to be bothered with an ass like him. I don't want to be used anymore...I wanted to be wanted for more than just my body.

I think I'm done. Besides to say that Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is one of the funniest movies I've seen in a very long time. Everyone should see it. And a quote, just to let know how funny it is: "You peed on the corpse?" HA! lol

Signed in Blood at
9:05 PM

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I hate being this bored.

Signed in Blood at
7:24 PM

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Thursday, July 13, 2006

So here's the situation: I've had a crush on Brit for going on 2 years now. I asked him to Sadie our senior year of high school...it was fun despite some events. He came to my graduation party..it was amazing (especially the beautiful bracelet he gave me). After that...I didn't hear from him all summer, until like, September (when I was already in NM) & we talked for like, 3 hours...then a few weeks later he talked me into auditioning for a musical..and it seemd like things were going great. But then...I had to be a bitch and over spring break, while supposedly on a date with him, I ended up completley flirting with this other guy, which I know hurt and pissed him off. At the time, I didn't care. I really didn't expect to see him again for a while, but then Jessica invited him to come to Red Star with us the last friday I was in Houston this summer (like 2 weeks ago). I was dancing with him, and everything seemed to be great. He invited me to go to Agora Cafe after the club....then this dude (Chase) came into the picture. Brit was the one who told me I should dance with him, because he could tell that Chase really wanted to dance with me. So I did. Not knowing I would end up making out with Chase right in front of Brit. I mean, I wasn't actually on a date with Brit at the time, but even Christine noticed the way Brit was looking at me and dancing with me, & could tell that he definitely has feelings for me, but just won't admit it. but yeah..this was way worse than flirting with another guy. I mean..this dude was a complete stranger. Anyway, when we were leaving, Brit didn't even say bye to me, and didn't even mention going anywhere else like he had talked about earlier. So I really hurt him this time. And again, at the time, I didn't care. But the more I think about it, the more I feel guilty for how I've treated him. And I want to talk to him about it, I really do. But I think he's avoiding me. And of course I have no idea what to say to him anyway...but I need to figure it out. I mean, Chase seems to be an amazing guy. He really does. But I don't know him that well. I've known Brit a while..and there's just something about him I've always liked. No idea what it is..but there's just something there. *sigh* any suggestions?

Signed in Blood at
10:47 PM

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Saturday, July 08, 2006

OMG!! POTC kicks major ass! yay!! lol..I went to a midnight showing with Kim which was freaking awesome. We ran into Tylor & Liz, which was pretty kick-ass too, since I haven't seen them in a few months. Sadly, Justin was at the theatre in Albuquerque, so Tylor sent him a message telling him he should have came with them to Cottonwood, cuz I was there. hehe...Justin's so cute. Anyway, the movie was awesome. I loved it. OB was goregous as usual. JD was hilarious. I mean...wow..I have to see it again, and I don't want to wait a year to see the next one. (haha...it's LOTR all over again...except in this case there's no book to know what's gonna happen).

um...I totally have an interview at Hastings on Monday. Let's hope it goes well, and then I shall have a job and money to spend. yay.

Apparentely Chase is like, head-over-heels for me, lol. Damn..I'm such a good dancer...this is the second guy that fell for me right away after one night of dancing together (well...and in Chase's case making out, lol). but anyway..we'll see how things go..it's going quite well for now, but of course he lives on Houston, so the distance is in the way...but who knows.

Signed in Blood at
3:52 PM

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

So, I'm back. yay. Actually, I had an absolutely AMAZING time in Houston. like wow. so much more fun than spring break. umm...I'm not going into too much detail because I honestly just don't feel like it right now. but, I will say a few things. umm...I totally pissed Brit off again (mainly because I started making out with a complete strange in front of him at a club we were at...hehehe), saw Superman which kicks major ass (Brandon Routh is goregous!!!!), WARPED TOUR!!! OMG!!!! like, wow. I was like so close to Davey Havok it was insane. He's so pretty!!! AFI was even better live than i thought they would be. The only issue I had were the fat chicks & dudes trying to crowd surf that kept kicking me in the head & pulling my hair. And the fact that I got hit with a water bottle, and some sort of orange soda which got all in my hair (causing my hair to frizz/curl up...2 hours before going to the club previously mentioned where I met the dude also previously mentioned..) I mean, damn, I looked like shit. I didn't even have time to shower, which meant having other people's sweat all over me which was gross (I was sort of in the middle/front of the mosh pit....but some dude like held my hand and held me up the entire time cuz I was like the smallest person in it, and he was just making sure I was okay...so sweet!) but yeah, depending on who is gonna be there next year, I might go again! Oh..and I can't forget to mention the condom balloons that were floating around everywhere. Trojan had a booth giving away free condoms..they ended up on the ground (I took a pic of one, lol) and floating through the air (Christine got a pic of a floating one) but yeah, it was awesome. I think I'm done. Anyway...yeah...yay for houston. If you would like to know more about my adventures there, just let me know. I'm just too tired to write anymore right now.

Signed in Blood at
12:00 PM

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

OFF TO HOUSTON!!!!!!

Signed in Blood at
8:07 AM

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

So I totally spent more money than I should have today. I went to Hastings just to get "A Fever You Can't Swear Out" by Panic! at the Disco (which they didn't even have) and ended up buying "From Underneath the Cork Tree" by Fallout Boy, "IV" by Godsmack, and "decemberunderground" by AFI. All of which are kick-ass cds, and well worth the money. yay for music. Now I have closer to 400 cds...yay!! haha..I don't even really listen to half of them anymore, but I know as soon as I get rid of them, I'll have the urge to listen to them, and it won't be possible. So I'll keep them all..even Hanson! haha...

Tony Awards!! yay!!! very awesome...except Alan Cumming with a mohawk. that was strange. but he's cute, and was in x-men 2, so it's okay.

Signed in Blood at
11:38 PM

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Saturday, June 10, 2006

So, I'm finally an official Catholic, lol. In a very strange ceremony, I made my confirmation last night. I say it was strange, because soooooooo many people were talking throughout the entire mass. I mean, I was sitting like in the 5th pew, and during the homily I could barely hear the bishop. There were little kids running up and down the aisles...some little kid screaming "leave me alone!" and various other distractions. but overall, it was nice. The candle I recieved after being blessed by the bishop blew out like, right after I got it, due to me having to walk over an air vent, leading my brother (who was my sponsor) to tell me "ha! see, God doesn't like you." but it was fun. yay for being able to call myself a full Catholic.

Signed in Blood at
2:54 PM

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Monday, June 05, 2006

It's been a little over two weeks since I've talked to him. A part of me is very glad over this, because it's a way for me to stop being who he wants me to be, and start being who I am. But, then I do miss him. He offered security and comfort to me in some strange way that I really can't explain. No matter what though, whether he talks to me again or not, I know that if we see each other this summer, I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do. I can't feel as low as I did before. I mean, even my ex never made me feel that bad..at least I know he did somewhat care about me while we were together. This guy...I don't know how much he cares about me. But I do know that I don't love him, that it's just infatuation. And I can't keep doing things I'm not really comfortable with or ready for with someone I don't love. So I guess it is a good thing he hasn't talked to me. Maybe he's moved on to the next girl. But if I'm wrong and he does talk to me again, well...I've made my decision. And contary to the past, it's going to be quite difficult for him to change my mind.

Signed in Blood at
5:30 PM

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Thursday, June 01, 2006

haha...so I meant I leave houston on July 3rd..not june..thanks jess! lol...oh..and I'd love to go salsa dancing on the 14th...my plane is supposed to get in at 6:35pm, so it should be okay.

I discovered today that I have a total of 31 pairs of shoes. And I still want more. yay for shoes.

Signed in Blood at
3:31 PM

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I totally bought my plane ticket today!! yay!!

So I shall be arriving in Spring/Houston on June 14th. I shall be departing on June 3rd. So, everyone should make time to see me sometime during those 2 1/2 weeks, or else.

Signed in Blood at
12:02 AM

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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

referring to my last post..I honestly think the situation isn't serious. What happened was mostly done in a very joking manner, & I really don't think anything will come of it. So don't worry Jessica!! lol

umm...so I've recently become obssessed with Star Wars KOTOR II. It's like so awesome. And it's fun to be on the dark side. The dark side is so much cooler, cuz you can kill people for no reason at all. yay for the dark side.

In other news...I think a certain someone is still avoiding me, but I don't really know & I'm still afraid to ask. While this could be considered a good thing, I honestly miss talking to him. Maybe I'll work up the courage to ask him soon........

Signed in Blood at
10:14 PM

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will I ever learn?

Signed in Blood at
2:29 AM

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Friday, May 26, 2006

I just got back from seeing X-Men 3, & holy hell!! It's freaking awesome!!!! Definitely the best movie I've seen in a while. Especially Phoenix, & Storm, & Pyro..they kick lost of ass. I will say that there were 2 very unexpected surprises in it, that I loved, but my mom & bro hated. I think it was necessary, but they don't. I'm not gonna be mean and spoil it, but yeah...what happens is quite unexpected. Anyway..I loved it. I want to see it again. yay. X-Men kicks ass.

Signed in Blood at
6:23 PM

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

So, I saw the Da Vinci Code last weekend (opening day..woohoo!) & for some reason I never ranted about it. I've never read the book..well, I've attempted to, but it was just so bleh. So I decided to just go see the movie to see what everyone has been talking about. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. I mean, there were a lot of interesting points, & pointy hat man was awesome, & so was Paul Bettany. But, I dunno. I still think everyone should go see it, but I dunno if it's worth any more of my time, lol.

oh, and X-Men 3 tomorrow!! YAY!!!

umm...I think I'm done. Except to say that it's freaking hot outside, & I hate when it's hot.

Signed in Blood at
11:37 AM

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Sunday, May 21, 2006

so...i have a dilemma. Ozzfest is going to be here in Albuquerque on July 4th, & my brother wants me to go with him & my mom which sounds like fun..but I dunno about Ozzfest with the mommy. And then of course, I would love to be in Houston on th 4th to spend it with my friends, especially if there's gonna be something really awesome going on. So I don't know what to do. grr....someone help me...should I stay until the 5th and spend the 4th in Houston? or should I come back to NM? but honestly, I think I'd rather go to Family Values Tour, cuz KoRn kicks more ass than the bands that are gonna be at Ozzfest. I dunno. But I do need to decide this week so I can buy my ticket. Any suggestions?

Signed in Blood at
6:59 PM

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Saturday, May 13, 2006

so, due to unforseen circumstances, I was forced to get my hair cut yesterday. It's pretty short, but looks good. look for the new me on facebook or myspace...most likely tomorow or monday. I promise.

Signed in Blood at
10:00 PM

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Friday, May 12, 2006

I'm free!!! lol...yup...I finished my last two finals Wedensday, so now I have nothing to do. yay. That's a very nice feeling, actually, not having to worry about school work. Although I don't have any of my grades yet, and I'm a little afraid about English. I'm not sure if i pulled the C which I need to get credit for it, but hopefully I did cuz I don't want to take that damn class again. Anyway..for those of you wondering why I'm finished with finals yet can't go to houston 'til June, it's because I'm (finally!) making my confirmation in my church, & i don't make it until June 10th, & I have to go to class every other Thursday until then. haha..I actually should have made it 2 years ago..but I'm glad I waited, cuz I really like the church that I've been going to, & everyone is really awesome. yay.

Signed in Blood at
8:53 AM

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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

aww.......thanks so much Jess!!! You & everyone else who responded to that post really made me feel a lot better. It's nice to know who really cares about me ;-)

So my brother came home last thursday, & it's been awesome, except I miss having my own bathroom, lol...I hate sharing. Icky boys. But he did take me to see Mi:3 which kicked ass, & it was quite fun seeing Tom Cruise getting beaten down like the little bitch he is.

Two finals left...then I'm free!!!!

Signed in Blood at
9:41 PM

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Saturday, May 06, 2006

It's so amazing how one person that I've met only once & didn't spend much time with at all can really make me feel better with a few simple words. I thank you for those words, you have no idea how much they mean to me. I'm going to stand up for myself now, mostly because no one has ever said anything like that to me before. No one has ever made me feel as confident as you do. I can't wait to see you again.

Signed in Blood at
11:40 AM

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Thursday, May 04, 2006

It's sad that I've realized my fate. I've given in too much in the past, & I'll keep giving in, even when I really don't want to. Why is this? Because I like to feel needed. And right now, I feel like he needs me. Even though when I've finally given him what he really wants, I'm afraid that he'll be through with me. But another part of me feels like he won't do that to me, that he'll still need me, & that he'll still talk to me. I have a 50/50 chance, but I hope the latter is prevalent. And it's stupid, because he's a walking contradiction. He can be the sweetest, cutest guy, & then make me feel like shit. He's sweet most of the time, though. & I know he appreciates what I do for him, otherwise he would have stopped talking to me a while ago. & he is very attracted to me, which also causes a problem, because when I know a guy is attracted to me, I have this obssession with doing whatever it takes to keep him, which is what happened with my last b/f, although I finally got smart & ended it, because I knew what I was doing was wrong. The same is true of the situation I'm currently in. But it's worse now, because I'm not even dating him. We're technically still just friends. & I really hate being in the position I am, but I'm too afraid to change it. I'm too afraid to stop it, to stand up for myself. Instead I keep playing games, knowing that in the end, I will give him what he wants. And I really hate knowing it. But I guess it's just a part of who I am...a scared, very insecure little girl who will do almost anything to keep a guy's attention, even when I shouldn't, because it should be my mind that keeps them around, not my body. So far, there's only been one guy who has respected my mind before my body. but I know consider him one of my best friends, and I don't think anything will ever happen between us. anyway..I guess I've ranted long enough. oh, and Kim....I'll fill you in on how this whole rant got started next time I see you.

Signed in Blood at
9:38 PM

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Monday, May 01, 2006

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas,beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going
totown, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request fo
thewhite, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for
a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl
of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
know to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
"a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb

____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're
in line," ... we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
..>..>_____

In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are
in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ...
and go your own way.
_____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
____

SOUTHERN WOMEN

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."..>..>
"How's your Momma?"

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The beach
The beach

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Hon(ey)
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Catholic
Baptist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
! Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Charleston (Chawl'stn)
Savannah (S'vanah)
Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)
New Orleans (N'awlins)
Atlanta (Addlanna)

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler, of course!

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the four deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
Wearing too much makeup in the summer

Signed in Blood at
9:59 AM

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