kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep

Thursday, December 22, 2005

So, today I was feeling like crap, just thinking over stuff..then I logged onto facbook and it made me smile & made me happy & made me realize ppl do care about me ;-)

How long must this go on?
This cruel trick of fate?
I simply made one careless wrong decision
And then the witch was gone
And left me in this state
An object of revulsion and derision
Hated...
Is there no one
Who can show me
How to win the world's forgiveness?

Signed in Blood at
9:36 PM

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

today was such a waste of time, lol, except for the time spent baking brownies. yay for brownies.

Signed in Blood at
6:00 PM

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Sunday, December 18, 2005

YAY!!! Gerard came home today, & I have already suffered injuries from our randomness. I was greeted with a friendly bite on the shoulder from him, & then he proceeded to throw me onto the bed, where I banged my arm against the headboard and now have a nice bruise. But, at least he's gonna connect our comps tomorrow and give me GAMES!! hehe..including KOTOR II, which I've been dying for. Anyway, tomorrow I get to go see about a job that would be absolutely perfect for me, so hope it goes well. Anyway, can't wait to get to Houston!!!! even though sadly I'll only be there 5 days, but I think I've figured out a way to see everyone that I want/have to see, so it should work out quite nicely. yay.

Signed in Blood at
10:46 PM

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Saturday, December 17, 2005

hehe..couldn't resist after I read this:

Men: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

Signed in Blood at
10:18 PM

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Today I discovered that I can drive while wearing 4" knee-hi boots!! hehe..quite an accomplishment if I do say so myself.

I also found out that I somehow managed to pull a B in my english class..I think it's only cuz my teacher found me attractive, but w/e..I passed and that's all that really matters.

oh..and Jess...of course you're one of those people!!!

Signed in Blood at
7:12 PM

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Friday, December 16, 2005

At the touch of your hand
At the sound of your voice
At the moment your eyes meet mine
I am out of my mind
I am out of control
Full of feelings I can't define

hehe...just a little Jekyll & Hyde which is my current obsession...

anyway, on to other actually important crap...for those of you who actually care, I'm leaving for Houston on Christmas Day. But I won't actually be there until Tuesday evening, because we're making a little detour to Louisiana first. But, I'll only be there until Jan 2, so if you wanna see me let me know, cuz there are *certain people* I HAVE to see..you all know who you are...but for those of you others that miss me (& i am unaware that you miss me) call me or im me & let me know & I'll make time to see ya!!

IT'S SNOWING!!!!!

Signed in Blood at
10:46 PM

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

so I discovered something while watching Full House today. I'm completley screwed if I marry a musician (which most likely I will). This is due to the fact that if I'm mad at them or in thoughts to leave him, he could easily win me back over by singing to me or playing whatever instrument he plays (except percussion...lol), because I cannot resist musicians at all. *sigh* lol..w/e..(hehe..I thought of this cuz on Full House, Becky was mad at Jesse, so he wrote her a song & went to her window and sang to her while playing guitar, & I just thought that was so sweet)

a little note to Stephen H, the stranger who commented on my blog: I wasn't freaked out at all..I think it's kinda cool that you find my blog interesting enough to read, because I don't really find it that interesting. comment whenever you like, I love when people comment ;-)

anyway....so I saw Elizabethtown today..I LOVE ORLANDO BLOOM!! I actually thought it wasn't gonna be that good, & I only went to see it cuz I have this thing where I've seen every one of his movies that has premiered in the US in the theatre, so I figured I needed to keep that up. But I ended up really enjoying it, especially one scene that just hit so close to my heart, but yeah it was incredible. But, I found it really amusing that you could still hear his accent...yeah..he should never try to play an American again, lol..he's too British

Signed in Blood at
4:47 PM

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I had such an amazing day!! hehe..I'll try to keep this as short as possible..so went to see King Kong which was the best movie I have seen in quite a while. I mean, it brought me to tears. I love PJ. He's incredible. EVERYONE should go see that movie. With me, lol. Anyway..then I went shopping which always makes me happy cuz I got fun stuff (hehe) then rushed home to get ready & went out to eat at Outback Steakhouse for Kim's 19th b-day. I got there at 6, the appointed time, yet I was the first one there. So I sat and waited. 15 min went by & I called her & she was still on her way. So, i waited some more. Everytime the amazingly cute waiter passed by, he'd smile..finally he came up and was like "Are you being stood up?" & I told him she was just late, he ended up staying for a few min talking, so that was really cool. Then when Kim and her family finally showed up at 7, we had lots of fun ranting about how stupid guys are (hehe..still not gonna do it Kim, not matter how much you prod me!!) & about random movies...ate some cake..watched her dad make a ring out of a dollar bill..yeah, it was fun. It was the first time I've been out in a while, so yay.

anyway..it's a cool/strange feeling when a complete stranger leaves a comment on your blog.

Signed in Blood at
9:39 PM

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

What would you do if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.
What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.
Do you need anybody,
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love.
Would you believe in love at first sight,
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light,
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
Oh I get by with alittle help from my friends.
I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Signed in Blood at
10:48 PM

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Monday, December 12, 2005

thank you Jessica!!! we haven't really talked in forever, & i'm glad you understood & didn't try to talk me out of it or anything..you listened and made funny comments...and you made my night! lol..and I know I made yours..just don't tell anyone ;-)

oh, and just for fun so you'll always remember your reaction:

BlueThanatopsis: OOMG R U SERIOUS!??!?!?
BlueThanatopsis: AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHA!!
BlueThanatopsis: u r my hero
BlueThanatopsis: Im impressed, very impressed

Signed in Blood at
11:45 PM

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because I'm bored and depressed:

53 things you might not know about me:

1. What is your middle name? Rose

2. Last person you kissed? my mom? lol..but on the cheek

3. What are you listening to right now? an aria from "Don Giovanni" by Mozart (really, I am..I love opera)

4. Last two numbers in your phone number? 67

5. Last thing you ate? cheeseburger from burger king

6. Last person you hugged? my mom

7. How is the weather right now? cold as hell

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Ryan

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes

10. Favorite type of food? does chocolate count?

11. Do you drink? occassionally

12. Do you smoke? nope

13. Ever get so drunk you dont remember what you did? nope

14. Hair color? brown

15. Eye color? hazel

16. Do you wear contacts? nope

17. Favorite holiday? Halloween

18.When's your Birthday? Feb. 3

19. Ever cried for no reason? no, I always have a reason

20. Last Movie you Watched? Modern Vampires

21. Last time you were at work? never worked...

22. Last time you were out of state? i dunno..been out of my home state for a couple months now...

23. last time you went bowling? um..I guess Junior year of hs for Amanda's b-day

24.something unusual about you? I like penguins.

25. favorite breakfast food? bacon

26. Favorite color? black

27. what are you afraid of? being alone

28. If you could take a trip anywhere where would it be? probably somewhere in Europe w/ my closest friends

29. What books are you reading? Twenty Years Later by Alexandre Dumas (sequel to Three Musketeers)

30. Number of peircings? 6

31. Favorite movie? way too many to name

32. Favorite basketball team? Rockets? haha..they suck

33. What were you doing before you filled this out? attempting to study

34. Any pets? nope

35. AIM? DemonLlama005

36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? butter & salted

37. Dogs or cats? dogs

38. Favorite Flower? white rose

39. Have you ever been caught doing something you werent supposed to? yup

40. Are you single or taken? single *sigh*

41. Have you ever loved someone? yes

42. Who would you like to see right now? no comment

43. Are you still friends with your ex's? hell no

44. Have you ever fired a gun? yup, many times

45. Do you like to travel by plane? it's ok

46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right

47. If you can be with someone right now who would it be? again, no comment

48. How many pillows do you sleep with? one

49. Are you missing someone? yes

50. Do you have a tattoo? yes

51. Do you still watch cartoons on saturday morning? sometimes

52. What word comes to mind when you hear the word "margarita?" where?

53. Who has the best margaritas? um...my uncle makes pretty good ones...

Signed in Blood at
9:47 PM

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Sunday, December 11, 2005

kimblyann18: holy shit in hell
kimblyann18:you get a sexy new tattoo and now you're too much of a wuss to show what a beautiful and sexy body it's on?!?!

Signed in Blood at
10:25 PM

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KIM!!!! dude..you've just got to talk me out of it..you have to. It's wrong isn't it? AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know me (Even though we just met this semester, lol) should I? or should I not? I can't decide. Maybe I should just let things run their course??? *sigh* I dunno.

Anyway...the above is out of frustration, and if you ask me about it there's no way in hell you're getting it out of me, cuz only Kim is allowed to know, cuz she's special and awesome.

Signed in Blood at
9:24 PM

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Saturday, December 10, 2005

I love when someone remembers the smallest, tiniest, most insignificant thing you say. It just makes me feel so special. and yeah, I can't wait to get back to Houston!!!!

oh, and just because Jessica put me on her list and made me feel special (lol)

Rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this.

1. I do not own a single pair of plain white socks (they all are colored w/ some sort of design on them)
2. I wish I had at least one weird talent, because sadly, I don't have any.
3. I once watched a 16 hour marathon of The Twilight Zone and wasn't bored at all.
4. I have never missed an episode of The O.C.
5. I am wearing penguin pajamas
YOU'RE UP!(Um....almost all the blogging people I know where taken by Jilly, so REPEATS!)
yeah, I don't know 5 ppl that haven't done this, so w/e

Signed in Blood at
6:02 PM

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Friday, December 09, 2005

Why does one tiny little thing make me so happy?

Signed in Blood at
8:30 AM

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

I had another lovely encounter with Jude today. It started out as a simple trip to the bank to deposit some money. When I walked in, I immediately saw him, & he waved & I asked how he was doing and he was like "Very, very good." Then, while standing in line, I hear "Merry Christmas" from behind me, & I turn around, and there's Jude, giving me ANOTHER Beatles album (Rubber Soul....which is actually pretty hard to find), along with pictures of Paul McCartney from the Paul McCartney concert he attended Wed. in LA.

So, when I got home, I was running to the door to tell my mother of this, when I guess I made some sort wrong step, & now it hurst to put any pressure on my right leg, & I can't straighten it out at all, which really sucks. I hope it's nothing serious. moo.

Signed in Blood at
11:14 PM

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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

One more night...I swear...just one more night...

Signed in Blood at
8:52 AM

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

So, of course with the continuing drama in my life, I have another problem. There's this class that I have to take in order to major in Media Arts, & it was closed this semester, and it's closed again next semester, which means I can't take any other
Media Arts course in the Spring. My parents want me to go talk to my advisor about it & the teacher. But, lately I've been feeling that I should be majoring in music instead of film. It's like, everything is pulling me toward music. My mom seems okay with the fact that if I can't get into it again next fall, I'm going to become a music major. Now, the problem is I have no idea what the hell I would do w/ music for the rest of my life. But with media arts, I have many options. So, yeah, I have no idea what the hell to do. Those of you who know me well would do good to offer suggestions to help me figure this out, cuz I am completely confused.

Signed in Blood at
6:45 PM

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Monday, December 05, 2005

Tylor: (as he puts down a random amount of money on the counter) I want this much drink!

Justin: I want to play trombone just so I can call myself a tromboner.

Kim: Charming and jackass don't mix.

Signed in Blood at
5:53 PM

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Sunday, December 04, 2005

It's amazing how one little thing can make your evening. And the fact is, the person that made my evening doesn't even know it.

Signed in Blood at
8:31 PM

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I can't believe this now
This isn't what I planned
I lived and died and now
I just can't understand
With all the love I feel
I could never leave her
No matter what the cost
My soul's the price to see her

Oh how I love you
The pain won't go away
Oh when I need you
You're always so far away
I cry for you
Leaving myself to blame
I died for you
I gave up everything

The pain was just too much
When I finally saw her
She's happy and in love
In love with my best friend
What makes it hurt so bad
Is that I love them both
And they will never know
For love I sold my soul

Signed in Blood at
6:41 PM

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Saturday, December 03, 2005

yeah, so I'm feeling a lot better from my last post, partly because of a conversation I had with someone who cares about me a lot, and gave me great advice. I LOVE YOU!!! (even though we can never be married, lol...) anyway, now I'm looking foward to spending my Junior & Senior years (or maybe just one of those depending how things go) of college at the University of Canterbury in Christchurch, New Zealand. I think I'll be really happy there. I'll get to live in a new country away from all the problems I have here, and also, the fact that it's so beautiful, and so close to Australia..I think I'll love it. Besides, it may give me a wonderful opportunity to gain connections within the film industry...hehehe..j/k..but I'm really excited about it, cuz I get to start planning it and getting ready for it next year.

I love the fact that he cares about me as much as he does. I hate the fact that he keeps me away because he doesn't want me to make the same mistakes he did. But at least I know he's always there for me, at least until he ODs.

and just because I'm fuckin bored:

"Why did you look? Why do you always have to look?"

"What exactly are the commercial possibilities for flying sheep?"

"Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny."

"I'm going to hang myself, as soon as I'm sober."

"It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."

"Say what again. Say what again. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time."

"AK-47. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes."

"Look at my pupils? How the hell am I gonna look at my pupils?"

"A mental mind fuck can be nice."

"What? I can't see, fuck-mook. I have no eyes."

"You just might want to consider blinking once in a while."

"If you find somebody you can love, you can't let that get away."

"I beg your pardon, but what do you mean, 'naked'?"

"They don't know that we know they know we know."

"Does anybody else feel like a fried egg?"

"Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag."

"Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off... but it's better if you do."

Signed in Blood at
9:14 PM

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Thursday, December 01, 2005

hm...so time for another deep thoughtful post, lol..just need to get my thoughts out, so boring anyone who bothers to read this sounds like fun. Anyway, so lately I've had this feeling that there's something missing. Like, it's because of UNM. Yes, I love it here, and the people I've met so far are really cool, & I love the fact that even the Mormons are liberal here. But, honestly, the only reason I'm here is because my parents wouldn't let me go away to college, because they were afraid that I would be partying too much and not studying. & I can't help but wonder if another college out there is better for me. Because, yes, it is quite beautiful out here. But, I don't think it's the place for me. I miss seeing trees everywhere, grass..I mean, yes the mountains I can see right out my window are goregous. But, all I can think about is the beauty of Virginia, and the incredible feeling (despite being sick) I had on the entire DC trip, because it was just so amazing, and if I wouldn't be happier in a place like that somewhere on the East coast. I know I'll never live in Houston again (visit though, of course) it's just not somewhere I want to spend the rest of my life. And right now (even though I thought I did) I don't even know if I want to spend the rest of my college career here. College was supposed to be something I was sure of, and now I'm not. I'm not really sure of anything anymore.

Signed in Blood at
9:40 PM

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